Now is the time to sponsor me (please!!)

**If you read no other post, please read this one!**

Today marks the Proper Launch of my bid to raise the £1,300 I need for the Miscarriage Association – I am not even halfway yet. I am running the marathon NEXT MONTH, everyone!!

If you were intending to sponsor me before the race, now would be a good time! More than anything else, it would be nice to not have to worry in the final few weeks about hitting my target. Of course if you are only planning on sponsoring me when I finish, I can totally understand!

Any amount would be wonderful – you don’t have to sponsor a lot – a few dollars or pounds all helps.

I would also be extremely grateful if you spread the word as well, whether posting a link to this post (or my blog at http://www.braveorfoolish.org.uk) to Facebook, Livejournal or indeed anywhere. If you prefer you could spread my JustGiving sponsorship page link at http://justgiving.com/barnpops instead. Or even my Facebook Fan Page at http://www.facebook.com/BraveOrFoolish. Any of these would be absolutely wonderful.

A few people have offered to pass forms around their friends or at their workplace instead. I have put together a pack with some of the words from this post and the sponsorship forms. You can download the sponsorship pack here. Thank you so much!!

I’d like to remind everyone that JustGiving not only supports all credit/debit cards, but also PayPal. Having a different currency to the UK shouldn’t stop you from donating!

And here’s a reminder of what it’s all about:

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My name is Rosanna, and I am going to run the Virgin London 2010 Marathon on behalf of the Miscarriage Association.

Running the Movember 10K last year, hence the “moustache”!
** Official photo (c) IES Photography

During 2008, I spent 4 months on strict bedrest (flat on my back for most of it) and confined to a wheelchair when I was out and about. And for much of the rest of the year and half of 2009, I was hardly active.. completely unfit in fact. In July 2009 I started my training for the London Marathon 2010. Why on earth would I want to do that??

Well, I will be running for a charity, a charity that means a lot to me. I always knew I wanted to do it for charity, but I wasn’t sure which one. Then last year whilst watching the runners go by, I spotted the charity I knew would be the right one – The Miscarriage Association.

I’ve had two first trimester losses, and here in the UK you get a leaflet from the charity with some lovely kind and helpful words on it along with the Box of Tissues proffered rather sadly by the doctor bearing the sad news. It was good to get something besides the usual clinical literature from the hospital – this was something more personal and caring. What struck me was the words on the outside of the leaflet: “We are sorry that you have had a miscarriage”.

The Miscarriage Association helps by providing information and support when it’s most needed in many ways. They have a telephone helpline as well as email support. They produce many leaflets to help parents, which are handed out in hospitals. Their site has excellent information. They also work with hospitals and medical staff to help deliver good practice when dealing with a loss. And finally, they also work to raise awareness of the facts and feelings of pregnancy loss, for instance when miscarriage is represented on television or other media. In the words of the charity:

“We know that miscarriage can be a very unhappy, frightening and lonely experience. If you have been affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy, whether recently or long ago, we hope that you will find here support, information and comfort.“

Wanting to raise money for this charity isn’t so much for me, as I have dealt reasonably well with my losses, but for my friends – many of whom have far more tragic tales than mine to tell – and for anyone who has or will suffer the loss of a baby in this way. Supporting the Miscarriage Association means supporting parents going through this ordeal. And educating the NHS better on dealing with losses – the care is so very variable, sadly.

There is a further reason for choosing the Miscarriage Association. I was told to expect to lose my youngest daughter when a routine scan revealed I had an incompetent cervix at 18 weeks. I had emergency surgery, but there were no guarantees – I was told it would be really good luck to make it to 24 weeks, and every doctor I have spoken to thinks it is a miracle I kept her safe until 35 weeks. I lived hour by hour for those long months of lonely bedrest with that very real fear of losing her. We had a happy ending, but during those early non-viable months especially, it brought it home to me all the more for those for whom there is not a happy ending and we are so very blessed she is here and healthy. I can’t save those babies, but I can sure as heck try my best to help those parents who will not be as lucky. This challenge is my way of doing that. From strict bedrest to a Marathon. And why not?

If you want to read more about my story and my training so far, please see the links to the right.

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Please considering sponsoring me for this Challenge and spreading the word. Miscarriage is a very taboo subject, and as a result The Miscarriage Association does not get as much support as it deserves – it is a small charity. Your sponsorship will go a lot further, in fact income from sponsorship makes up more than a quarter of The M.A.’s £200,000 annual budget . This is another reason I am determined to raise as much as possible for them.

If you are a UK taxpayer and Gift Aid whatever you give, you’re adding another 28% to the charity without it costing you a thing.

Take a look at the figures and see what your money can do:

£5 pays for sending out a pack of 5 information leaflets on miscarriage facts and feelings

£17 pays for helpline support and a leaflet pack for one person

£20 means staff can send leaflet packs to four people

£36 will staff the helpline for an hour (responding to 2 to 4 requests for help)

£50 is one hour’s outreach costs, telling 10 nurses, midwives or doctors about The M.A.

£100 will enable The M.A. to train a new support volunteer

£250 pays for a training session for GPs or hospital doctors

£500 means they can send leaflet packs to 100 people

£1,000 will cover the cost of researching, writing and producing a new information leaflet

You can find out more about the charity and what it does and the information it provides over at http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

Finally a huge thank you to the recent generosity of Elizabeth, Amy and Squeezypaws (wow!) for your very kind donations.. very much appreciated indeed!

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

It’s not often that I post about miscarriage, at most I refer to it only in passing. Yet this is the main reason for me doing all this – the need to “give back” in some way for my luck at managing to keep my second daughter, and thinking of all those people who didn’t get to keep their babies as I very nearly didn’t. I may not mention it much in my posts, but there is heaps on information on my experiences (including my own two miscarriages) on the pages about my Dramatic Pregnancies (also accessible via the links to the right, if you’re viewing through my home page of http://www.braveorfoolish.org.uk) if you’re interested and haven’t already read it.

Today is October 15th, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s a day when people can remember their lost babies, whether they’re the parents themselves, or the grandparents, uncles, aunts, sisters, brothers, friends – anyone.

The Miscarriage Association helps those who have lost a baby through miscarriage. Not only do they provide a telephone and email helpline, staffed by extremely kind volunteers, but they also produce leaflets that are handed out in associated hospitals for those who have lost a baby. I received copies of these leaflets myself at one stage, and compared to the usual NHS stuff, theirs was extremely compassionate and thoughtful and it was very much appreciated. When I found out more about the charity, I discovered that they educate medical staff on how best to deal with those who have lost a baby – far too many doctors can be extremely thoughtless and callous as it’s their every day job and they don’t see the baby as a baby at all, just medical remains, if that. I have heard some truly horrendous stories from many people over their treatment. The charity also does some research itself, and finally they raise awareness with the media – for example they might be consulted on soap storylines or for news reports.

It’s an amazing charity, and a very small one at that – the entire budget is £200K for the year. Over a quarter of the budget comes from fundraising activities such as this marathon I am running. So the money I am raising matters that much more than for one of the huge charities out there. For a breakdown of how much various things cost, see my information page here – you’ll see that even a small amount of sponsorship will make a great deal of difference.

One of the reasons I am posting today is that I have a favour to ask of you. If any of you have been touched by the Miscarriage Association in some way, or perhaps *wish* you had been as your experience was so dreadful in some way, I would love to hear your story if you’re willing to tell it. There are two main reasons for this.

1. To inspire me. I can’t pretend it’s easy going out training! I don’t usually enjoy running, and I certainly don’t like the crap I’m getting off strangers. Give me some ammunition to keep my resolve strong when I feel weak. And especially on the day of the Marathon itself – one tip I have heard is to dedicate each mile to somebody, so you’d never want to stop running in each person’s mile as you’d feel you were letting them down!

2. To inspire others.. if you’re okay with that. I’d like to publish some of your stories on my site (either in your own words, or mine if you’d prefer.. I can also make the stories anonymous too) for others to read. I realise such stories could be triggering for readers, so I’d put them in links to the right like my story is, and link to new ones from blog updates so those who want to read them can. I want those who haven’t experienced losses to understand a little what it is like, so they know exactly why I am doing this. And more importantly, might be encouraged to sponsor more as a result, or even sponsor at all – and make even more of a difference.

There is kind of a third reason in that sharing a story can often help for some people – an acknowledgement that their babies existed and meant something and are a part of the story of their lives. It’s partly why I’ve shared my stories so my babies aren’t forgotten. The flipside being that it can be painful to relive the memory too, so please don’t consider doing this if it’s going to upset you. It’s not worth it.

Obviously I would never publish a story unless you told me it was explicitly okay for me to do so, and if I do, I’ll send you the final draft (unless it’s in your own words) for your review before doing so.

If you would like to share your story, please drop me an email or message me on Facebook (don’t forget the fan page there!) My contact address is braveorfoolish AT sparklies.org.uk. For some odd reason email to the braveorfoolish domain is not working *sigh*. It used to, so I’ve no idea how long it’s been out of action!

Similarly feel free to pass this post on to anybody who you think might be interested in sharing their story – it’s not just limited to readers of this blog. The more stories, the better.