About “Brave or Foolish”
July 2009
It has been a stressful year. To cut a long story short – can you say traumatic pregnancy combined with bereavement? There was a lot more besides, but those were the biggies.
I recently quit my job to become a stay at home mother to our two lovely daughters. B is nearly 3 years old, and C is nearly 8 months. Whilst being a stay at home mother is clearly the toughest job going, it doesn’t have milestones, deadlines, anything to relieve the monotony. So, I needed a challenge.
They say that giving birth is like doing a marathon. I delivered my first baby, naturally, in just a few short hours after a precipitous labour. Well, that hurt, and required effort. My second I was forced to have an emergency c-section. That gives me two reasons for the challenge I have thought of straight away. Firstly, I am clearly one behind in the strenuous experiences category. And secondly, wouldn’t it be nice to compare?
So.. yes, I am going to do a marathon.
The Virgin London 2010 Marathon to be precise.
After spending 4 months on strict bedrest, confined to a wheelchair when I was out and about, and 8 months effectively sitting on my backside, I am not what you would call fit. Just like baking a baby, I have 9 months to get myself fit, and ready. To manage 26 miles through my hometown of London and cross that finishing line.
You probably think I am mad, and for those of you who know me, think this is completely out the blue. You’re possibly right about the first part, but wrong about the second!
For the last five years, I would be at the side of the road watching the runners go by (see April 2009′s photos I took here) and wanting very much to be a part of it – this is not just something I decided on the spur of the moment. This is the first year I can actually take part as I’m not pregnant or freshly unpregnant. I used to do cross-country at school – I know how much it hurts to run more than a mile. I know what I’m letting myself in for.
I have the motivation – my dad, who we lost suddenly last year (see: bereavement) always supported my running and being fit and part of this would be doing it for him as I know he’d be very proud. These days I’m woefully unfit and slightly overweight and the best way to sort that out is to have a big challenge I know I need to keep.. my willpower is sadly lacking otherwise.
But there is another Big Reason. I will be running for a charity, a charity that means a lot to me. I always knew I wanted to do it for charity, but I wasn’t sure which one. Then last year whilst watching the runners go by, I spotted the charity I knew would be the right one - The Miscarriage Association. I suddenly knew, in that moment, what I needed to do. I got home, applied to the charity, waited with baited breath and then finally had my place confirmed a short while ago!
I’ve had two first trimester losses, and here in the UK you get a leaflet from the charity with some lovely kind and helpful words on it along with the Box of Tissues proffered rather sadly by the doctor bearing the sad news. It was good to get something besides the usual clinical literature from the hospital – this was something more personal and caring. What struck me was the words on the outside of the leaflet: “We are sorry that you have had a miscarriage”. And you knew that they genuinely were, too – somehow that leaflet seemed a whole lot more sorry than the person delivering the news, even though she tried her best.
I found out more about the charity and discovered they had a helpline you could use, including support via email. I was lucky and I never needed the helpline when dealing with my losses, but the fact it was there was a reassurance. In addition to the leaflet handed out, they have a lot of good information on their site, and critically work with hospitals to help deliver good practice when dealing with a loss. They also work to raise awareness of the facts and feelings of pregnancy loss e.g. when represented on television amongst other many good things. In the words of the charity: “We know that miscarriage can be a very unhappy, frightening and lonely experience. If you have been affected by the loss of a baby in pregnancy, whether recently or long ago, we hope that you will find here support, information and comfort.“
Wanting to raise money for this charity isn’t so much for me, as I have dealt reasonably well with my losses as the years have gone by and did not need more from the charity than the leaflets for support, but for my friends – many of whom have far more tragic tales than mine to tell – and for anyone who has or will suffer the loss of a baby in this way. Supporting the Miscarriage Association means supporting parents going through this ordeal. And educating the NHS better on dealing with losses – the care is so very variable, sadly.
There is another reason. I was told to expect to lose my youngest daughter when a routine scan revealed I had an incompetent cervix at 18 weeks. I had emergency surgery, but there were no guarantees – I was told it would be really good luck to make it to 24 weeks, and every doctor I have spoken to thinks it is a miracle I kept her safe until 35 weeks. I lived hour by hour for those long months of lonely bedrest with that very real fear of losing her. We had a happy ending, but during those early non-viable months especially, it brought it home to me all the more for those that there is not a happy ending. I can’t save those babies, but I can sure as heck try my best to help those parents in the future in some way. This challenge is my way of doing that. From strict bedrest to a Marathon. And why not?
As for the blog name “Brave or Foolish”? Well, when one of my friends said I was brave for attempting a whole marathon from my current state, all I could think was how foolish I was being. Time will tell which it is..
This blog will follow this challenge, my progress and hopefully my ultimate goal! I’m going to be needing to put in a LOT of training between now and next April, so I’ll need all the support I can get. I’ll try to make it as entertaining as possible, and I hope people will enjoy reading it! I want to raise as much money as possible for this cause, so please feel free to spread this blog as far and wide as you can.
If you want more information on me, the full story as referred to above, or the Miscarriage Association, please use the links to your right under “Background”. Grab yourself a cup of tea and a biscuit, because it’s a long read!
Please considering sponsoring me for this Challenge. Miscarriage is a very taboo subject, and as a result The Miscarriage Association does not get as much support as it deserves – it is not a huge charity. This is another reason I am determined to raise as much as possible for them.
My Sponsorship Page at JustGiving.com
If you wish to sponsor me by cheque (including post-dated for the Marathon), please contact me at rosie @ **braveorfoolish.org.uk** (get rid of the *s) for details.
The Flora London Marathon 2009 goes through Woolwich
And here’s how much time I have left until the Virgin London Marathon 2010:
